


Leave the Dust Behind

by inkstone



Series: The Scars We Bear [2]
Category: Gangsta. (Manga)
Genre: Cooking, Curtain Fic, Domestic, F/M, Fluff, with cameos from Worick and Theo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-15 01:56:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5766940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkstone/pseuds/inkstone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sugar and spice and everything nice. Or: The one where Alex makes candy with Nina.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leave the Dust Behind

**Author's Note:**

> Gangsta isn't a series that makes writing missing scenes easy, but let's say this takes place between Chapters 18 and 19 of the manga.
> 
> Much love to Tera for the beta.

Another Friday, another time Alex and Nicolas need to make themselves scarce. There's no helping it. It's a regular client of Worick's, one that pays well. No way are they going to jeopardize that money by lingering around.

Thankfully, Alex now knows how to decipher the notes on the calendar—which markings mean Worick has a gig. This one's been booked for at least a couple weeks already. Plenty of time for Alex to prepare, to make plans to occupy her time.

She checks the bag one last time: bananas, eggs, flour, sugar, and cooking oil. All set. "I'm off!" she says.

Worick pokes his head out of the bedroom. He's in the middle of getting dressed, hair damp, shirt unbuttoned and hanging open. "Have fun, Ally! Say hi to Nina for me."

"Sure thing," she replies and heads for the stairs.

"Wait," he says from behind her. "Where's Nic?"

Alex pauses and looks back. "Um. Downstairs?" She points to the other set leading to the lower level.

Worick scowls. "Isn't he going with you?"

"Why would he come with me?" she asks blankly.

Frowning, he walks past her, buttoning up his shirt as he goes. "I told him to."

"What?" Alex says. "Why?" She trails after him. "He doesn't need to do that."

Worick spares her a brief glance before leaning through the doorway and rapping his knuckles on the wall.

Ugh. Stubborn man. She _knew_ she shouldn't have told him about the incident with the Twilight girl. But he'd asked how it went, finding the cat belonging to another one of his clients, and before she'd realized what she was doing, Alex had told him _everything_.

She tries again. It's not like she _plans_ to pick fights with bullies on the street. "I'll be fine. I'm just going to the clinic—"

"Finally," Worick says, stepping back. Had he even heard a word she said? Before Alex can ask, Nicolas appears in the doorway and looks straight at her. In his arms are cans of fruit soda.

"What are those for?" she asks before she can think better of it.

Nicolas signs, "No one's drinking them. They're taking up room in the refrigerator. I'm bringing them to the clinic. Maybe someone there will drink them."

Alex squints at him. "Those weren't in the refrigerator yesterday." She knows because that's when she put the eggs in there. "When did you buy those?"

Ignoring her—even though she _knows_ he saw her lips move—Nicolas moves past Worick. He nods at her, then at the stairs leading outside.

Is he just planning on not answering her? Alex glances at Worick for help but the other man just smirks. "Have fun."

She sighs in exasperation. These two. "See you later."

Smiling, Worick waves at them as they leave.

Alex can't help but eye the fruit soda as they walk toward the clinic. That's the brand Nina likes, isn't it? She recognizes the brightly colored cans.

In spite of herself, she smiles. Guess she wasn't the only one preparing for this cooking date. "Thanks for coming," she says, bending forward so that her face is in his line of sight. "We're just cooking a dessert. Nothing fancy."

Nicolas grunts and steps around her, giving no other acknowledgment of her words.

Alex makes a face at his back. No matter. She's not going to let him bring down her mood. It took her a while to think of something to make for Nina. There's not much reason to cook when you're turning tricks in alleyways, so her cooking repertoire is limited these days. It's frustrating. She's positive she used to cook a lot…before.

She just can't remember.

She _does_ remember how to make one dessert, though. It's not traditional candy, but it's sweet. Even better, it's simple to make. Nina and her can have fun preparing it together, like she and her mother used to do when she was younger—

Her temples twinge. Alex winces and presses her fingers against the sudden throbbing. Ugh. Not now.

Alex blinks, focusing on Nicolas's back. It's okay. She'll be okay. There's no blood puddling on the street. No visions of leering dead men. There's only the solid set of Nicolas's shoulders, the movement of lean muscles under his black shirt.

She only needs to focus on that. She'll be fine.

Yes.

It helps. By the time they arrive at the clinic, the throbbing in her temples has faded.

Doctor Theo opens the door. "Right on time." He eyes Nicolas. "What are you doing here, Mr. Handyman? I didn't realize you knew how to cook."

"I don't," Nicolas signs.

"Just here to take up space then." Theo steps aside. "Come in, come in. Nina's waiting for you upstairs."

"Okay." Alex looks around the clinic uncertainly. It's shocking that the place is empty. There's normally a patient or two around. But maybe not having patients for once is a good thing? It means there's no reason to require Theo's services, and _that_ means no one's gotten hurt.

Nina skips into view as Alex approaches the stairs. Perfect timing. The girl's face lights up at the sight of her and Nicolas. "Hi! I made sure to have everything ready!"

Alex smiles at her excitement. Then again, maybe there's not much opportunity for this sort of thing. Theo doesn't look like the kind of man who'd spend his free time cooking with a child.

Nicolas brushes past her and offers Nina a can of soda. "We had some extra lying around," he signs.

Nina hugs the can to her chest, looking at the matching containers that Nicolas carries. "Thank you for buying them for me."

"I didn't buy them for you," he signs rapidly. "We had extra ones, so I brought them over."

Alex rolls her eyes. Right. They just _happened_ to have a pack of fruit soda in the refrigerator. "Where are we cooking?"

"Follow me." Nina turns and jogs up the stairs.

Alex glances at Nicolas, who nods at her to follow. Shrugging, she ascends the steps with him close behind her. That strange awareness prickles down her spine again. What bad timing. She doesn't know what to do about it either. It's not like she can tell him to stop. He isn't actually _doing_ anything.

Besides, it's not like there's anything between them. Not exactly. Not quite.

Nina waits for them at the next landing, bouncing on her feet. Alex can't help but smile. It's not often that she sees Nina actually act her age. Excepting the times Nicolas teases her, of course. The girl leads them to the kitchen, or what passes for the kitchen at the clinic.

Nina waves at the stove and counter where a frying pan, cutting board, bowl, and plate await them. "I hope the frying pan's okay, and I made sure to wash out the bowl really well. It should be okay to use for cooking."

Many questions hover at the tip of Alex's tongue, the foremost being what the bowl had been used for before, but she decides not to ask. Some things are better left unsaid. It's easier to feign ignorance that way. "Great," she says instead. "Do you have a shallow dish and another bowl? It doesn't need to be as big as this one."

Nina thinks for a second before nodding. "I think so!" She turns and dashes down the hall. Alex's gaze follows her for a second before realizing that's a bad idea. She'd rather not know where the dish and bowl come from, thank you very much. Wherever they _do_ come from, she's sure Nina will make certain they're clean enough to use. She peers inside the bowl sitting on the counter. If Nina hadn't said anything, she wouldn't even be wondering about it now.

"Oh!" She bites her bottom lip as she pulls the ingredients out of the bag, one by one. "We need ice." Alex glances in the direction Nina disappeared off into. She can hear the sound of running water, which means that the girl was successful in her search. That's something at least.

A blunt finger taps her on the shoulder, startling her. Alex whirls, heart in her throat, more out of reflex than anything else. She knows she's not in danger. Not really. Nicolas pulls back the instant he has her attention, head cocked at her reaction. He gestures but Alex doesn't recognize the signs. She shakes her head before realizing that he could be asking her a question and that she'd inadvertently given him an answer. Shoot.

Her confusion must have shown on her face, though. Nicolas rolls his eyes. "I thought you were studying the book," he signs.

"I am," she replies. Hesitates. "But I don't think I've made it to the section that covers whatever you said."

Nicolas just looks at her, clearly thinking poorly of her learning speed. Alex squirms. Will she ever get any other reaction out of him? Thankfully, Nina returns at that moment. "Here you go!" She hands Alex a dish and another bowl.

Alex takes them gratefully. "Perfect." They were, too. She taps the smaller one and looks at Nina apologetically. "We need ice. Sorry. I didn't think of it until now. I would have brought it otherwise." It's embarrassing. She can't believe she forgot such a major thing.

Nicolas repeats the signs from earlier.

Nina smiles. "Nic says he'll get it."

"Oh." Is that what he'd been trying to tell her? Why hadn't that occurred to her? He'd been watching her the whole time and had probably read her lips. Irritation fills her, although it's mostly self-directed. Ugh. Why had she agreed to go along with Worick's insistence that Nicolas come along? He's putting her off-balance. To cover her inner turmoil, Alex offers the smaller bowl to him. "Fill it about halfway with ice. We're making an ice bath so we need to make sure there's room left for water."

Nicolas nods and leaves. Alex doesn't have a chance to watch him go because Nina pops into her field of vision. "An ice bath? You use those in cooking, too?"

Right. Nina works at a clinic. Of course she knows what an ice bath is. "Yes."

The girl sidles up to Alex as she begins to peel the bananas. "What are we making?"

"Candied bananas. My mother used to make them a lot when I was a little girl." Although she'd stopped when she'd gotten pregnant with her brother—

Pain stabs through her temples, stealing her breath for one agonizingly long second. And throughout its duration, her thoughts fixate on one thing. A brother. A _brother_. Whose name she can't remember! What kind of big sister is she?

Alex squeezes her eyes shut. She's okay. She is. Her hands are steady. She doesn't feel shaky at all. It's exactly like Theo said. The longer she stays off TB, the more her memories come back. She can't force them to return. She knows that. Part of her wants them to return, despite the pain that appears to accompany them.

Another part, a bigger part, dreads them coming back. If they do, what then? If she recalls her past— _all_ of her past—what will it change? Everything? Nothing?

Alex huffs softly. No use dwelling on it. Given what a mess her memories are, that day is a long ways off. Better to focus on the here and now. She finishes peeling the last banana and lines them up on the cutting board. "Okay, first thing we're going to do is cut these into pieces."

Nina holds up a knife. "I can do that!"

She nods. "Good. I'll prep the batter." Alex slides the cutting board in her direction.

The girl nibbles on her bottom lip as she makes to cut the first banana. She pauses, glances at Alex. "How big should I make the pieces?"

"Mm, let's say two inches."

"Okay." Nina begins cutting the bananas into careful 2-inch pieces. Alex takes a moment to marvel at the uniformity of the pieces before studying the little nurse. The utter look of concentration on her face belies the mundane task. With her brow furrowed like that, you'd think Nina was doing surgery.

Alex gives herself a little shake. She's supposed to be helping, not gawking. She steps around Nina and places the frying pan on the stove. A couple clicks of the dial ignites the burner. She adjusts the flame and then pours oil into the pan. By the time they're done prepping the banana pieces, it should be nice and hot.

Alex notices that Nina's halfway through the slices and she still hasn't gotten the batter ready. Oops. Better get to doing that.

As expected, Nina finishes with the bananas before Alex has finished mixing the batter. "What did you put in there?" she asks, looking inside the bowl.

"Flour. An egg. Water."

She nods. "How much flour and water?"

Caught off-guard, Alex pauses. "Um. Enough?"

"What do you mean 'enough'?" Nina asks. "Didn't you measure?"

"…no?"

The girl's mouth drops open, aghast. "But how will you know if the batter's right?"

Perplexed, Alex replies, "You just know?" Are exact measurements that important? Her mother never measured anything. "If it's too dry, you add more water. If it's too wet, you add more flour. If it's not sticky enough, you might have to add another egg."

Nina stared at her. "But how do you know if it's too dry or wet? What is 'not sticky enough'?"

"Huh?" Alex blinks. "You tell by looking. And not sticky enough is not...sticky...enough..." Her voice trails off at the girl's frown. Hmm. She's not doing a great job explaining things.

Nicolas returns with the ice bath. He takes one look at the two of them before shaking his head and putting the filled bowl on the counter.

Alex clears her throat. "Well, the batter's ready." She pushes the dish closer to the cutting board. "This is what you do." One by one, she drops banana pieces into the batter and rolls them around with a fork, coating them. She peeks over Nina's head at the pan. The oil's shimmering. "Here," she tells Nina. "Let's switch places."

They do, and Alex moves the bowl with the battered pieces closer the stove. "Okay," she says. "Now we fry them." She spears a banana chunk with the fork and gently shakes it off the tines into the oil. Immediately, the air fills the sounds of crackling and popping. Alex absently rubs her forearm where a couple specks of hot oil hit.

"Are you okay?" Nina asks, eyes wide. "Are you burned?"

"What? No. It's only a tiny splatter. Don't worry about it." She'll need to be a little more careful with the remaining pieces. Maybe not spear them so hard. Just enough to grip instead. To distract Nina, Alex gestures at the remaining banana pieces. "While I fry these up, can you get those ready?"

The girl perks up. "Yes."

Alex watches Nina coat the first couple banana pieces. "Right," she says. "Exactly like that." She glances over her shoulder at Nicolas, who's found a chair to recline in. A black cat curls in his lap, kneading its paws into his thigh. The sight makes her smile.

As if he can feel her gaze, Nicolas raises his head.

Caught staring, Alex drops the smile from her face. She clears her throat and whirls back around. Good timing, too. The test fritter looks about done. She fishes it out of the oil and drops it onto the waiting plate. Ugh. Another thing she forgot. She's really out of practice with the cooking thing. It's not like she makes fancy things for Nicolas and Worick.

She twists around and, after making sure Nicolas is looking straight at her, says, "I need paper towels."

Alex turns back before Nicolas can react. She can't wait to see if he'll do what she says. Nina's gotten the hang of coating the banana pieces with batter, which means _she_ needs to be faster at frying.

Turns out she has no reason to worry. As she drops the battered bananas into the oil, Alex hears Nicolas get out of the chair. Maybe she wouldn't have normally, but the cat doesn't seem pleased that the warm lap it'd been using as a bed has decided to move. Disgruntled meows fill the air.

Alex peeks over her shoulder and she can't help it. Laughter bubbles up. The cat shadows Nicolas's heels, complaining loudly. Poor thing. It doesn't even realize the wasted effort.

Nicolas returns with a roll of paper towels as Alex moves around the fritters, to make sure they're cooking evenly. "Can you put some of those on the plate?" she asks him.

He looks at her.

Alex turns over a fritter before glancing over. "Is something wrong?"

He doesn't move for a few moment. Then, with resignation radiating from every inch of his body, Nicolas shakes his head and tears off a couple sheets. He lines the plate with them, shifting the test fritter so that it drains the oil onto the paper rather than sitting in it.

Nina watches Alex move cooked fritters from the oil to the plate and then fill the pan again with more battered banana pieces. "Is there anything else I can do?"

Alex clicks on the other burner. "Do you have a small saucepan?"

"I think so."

"Good. Can you fill it with the sugar?"

Nina's brow creases. "How much sugar?"

Caught off-guard, Alex fumbles. "Uh—"

Storms roll across the girl's face. "Don't say _enough_."

Alex coughs. "Maybe a cup and a half?" she guesses.

The answer pleases Nina, and the little nurse busies herself with the task.

With Nina gone, Alex grows highly conscious of Nicolas next to her. He hasn't budged since he came with the paper towels. Chooses instead to brace his body against the counter and watch her cook. Knowing that he's watching her so intently makes her inexplicably antsy.

Nicolas's hands move.

Alex turns her head sharply, not wanting to miss the signs. She frowns as she parses the gestures. "My arm's fine?" she replies to his question.

He gestures again, quicker and points to her skin.

Oh. _Oh._ "That's nothing," she assures him. She's telling the truth, too. The tiny splatters of oil may sting a little but they're fleeting and it's not remotely enough to leave behind a proper burn.

Her reply doesn't seem to sit well with Nicolas, if the scowl on his face is anything to go by, but he doesn't push her. The silence that follows is strangely comfortable. It surprises Alex. Normally things are tense and strained between them but this— _this_ is okay. Him watching her cook, the sound of crackling oil mingling with his steady breathing. It's comfortable. It feels right.

Nina returns with a small saucepan and the precisely measured sugar. "Excellent," Alex says as she removes the last fritter from the oil and switches off that burner.

She takes the sugar and puts it on the other burner. Nina watches her stir the contents with interest. "What are you doing?"

"Melting sugar for the coating. I'm stirring so it doesn't burn." Nina nods. "Can you get the ice bath?"

Before Nina can do so, though, Nicolas pushes away from the counter and strides past them. The black cat tangles itself through and around his legs, but he's not tripped up at all. Alex envies that grace and surefootedness. He doesn't even look down at the feline.

Nicolas returns with the ice and places it on the counter next to the plate. Alex nods. "Okay," she says as she tilts the saucepan back and forth. The sugar syrup is ready. "This is the hard part."

It takes a few tries to get it right. Coating the first couple fritters with the melted sugar is _messy_. She leaves a trail of syrup from the saucepan to the ice bath. Nicolas snorts and covers the counter between the saucepan and bowl with another paper towel to catch the drips.  The next few are perfect—or as perfect she can make them now.

The next couple, not so much.

Alex wrinkles her nose at the gloppy sugar coating. Nina peers at the offending fritter and then at the saucepan. "I think the syrup is too thick."

She checks, tilting the saucepan back and forth. Nina's right. Time to reheat the sugar.

When it's ready again, Nina's asks, "Can I try?"

"Sure."

Alex watches with bated breath as Nina carefully coats a fritter in the syrup before dunking it in the ice bath to harden the sugar. And then again. And again. All with neat, efficient movements.

Nicolas signs, "She's better than you at that part."

She side eyes him.

He—he doesn't smile. Not exactly. Alex has only seen Nicolas smile when he's fighting and the sight of his bare teeth always sends a shiver down her spine. She's not sure she's ready to see him smile, here, _now_ , under these circumstances.

But his eyes are a little softer than before. The corners of his lips are turned up. Just ever so slightly, of course. But turned up all the same.

Nicolas narrows his eyes.

The shift in his expression confuses Alex for a moment before she realizes she's staring at his mouth. His _lips_.

What is she doing?

She looks away quickly before he can pursue it further. Before _she_ can pursue it further. Nina is carefully fishing the last cooling fritter from the ice bath. "Done!" she says, cheeks rounding with glee as she grins.

"Good." Alex checks the stove, making sure all the burners are off. "Why don't you get Theo?"

Nina nods eagerly and disappears down the stairs.

Leaving Alex and Nicolas alone.

After a moment, she nudges the plate of finished fritters, some imperfect, some flawless, and the rest somewhere in between.

Nicolas takes the hint and picks one up. She watches him bite into it, chewing thoughtfully. Waits for the inevitable _so-so_.

He tilts his head and shrugs. "It's all right." Astonished, Alex watches as he takes another bite.

Did...did he just say her cooking was all right?

"Nina should help you more often."

Alex stares at him and—

And.

Amusement flickers across his face for a split second. Fleeting and gone in the blink of an eye.

But long enough for her to know it was there.

Alex fumes and picks up a fritter as Nina returns with Theo. She tastes it and it's good. Better than good, even. She thinks back to her childhood, spent in a cramped kitchen, helping her mother make these candied banana fritters. She thinks of the uneven banana pieces she cut. Of the bandages that littered her mother's arms, covering healings cuts and wounds from—

From what?

Her temples twinge. Not too painful but enough to warn her from following that memory.

Soon enough, she thinks, as the four of them munch on the fritters. Nina exclaims over how much she likes them, eyes shining with happiness. Even Theo offers measured words of approval.

Yes, they're good. Alex's not completely satisfied, though. They're missing something. Something that affects the flavor. But no matter how much she wracks her brain, she can't remember.

Alex smiles to herself as she watches Nina save a couple banana fritters for Worick. Is the girl going to put them in a bag with a big bow on it? Alex wouldn't be surprised.

She lets contentment sink in, feeling relaxed and at ease for once. Missing ingredient or not, no one seems to have noticed or cared. Oh well. Maybe the knowledge will return with the other memories. That'd be nice.

No need to rush things for now. Things are fine as they are.

**Author's Note:**

> Sesame seeds, Alex. You forgot the sesame seeds.
> 
> Kohske says that Alex is half-black, half-Chinese. Based on Alex's last name, I work off the assumption that her father is black Italian and her mother is Chinese. This led me to wonder about Alex's mother – What's her story? Did she come from an immigrant family? Did she pass on any traces of Chinese culture to her daughter?
> 
> If she did, I bet it was through food. It's always through the food. Since Alex practically raised Emilio, I assume their mother died when he was young. But since there's a six year age difference between them, Alex was old enough to have helped her mother in the kitchen.


End file.
